how to build rapport: don’t mimic me!

A colleague recently told me that I don’t appreciate how difficult it is for an anywhere worker to build rapport. I know it is important to get feedback, so I refrained from reacting and simply asked him why. He said it’s because it comes naturally to me. I paused. Really? I’m glad it looks natural. What would you say if I told you it has taken me years to develop that natural talent? I’ve read books, attended seminars, observed others with this ‘natural’ talent, and finally tried the various approaches to see what worked for me.

If you want to have that natural ability, all you have to do is practice. Let’s start with the very first meeting you have with a new person. It could be a prospective client, team mate, or potential new friend. What would you do first? My colleague said he uses a technique he learned in a sales training seminar called mimicking. In order to make the other person feel comfortable and ‘connect’ with you on a subconscious level, you mirror or mimick their breathing, body language, tone, pace, and even language (use of slang and so on). He said it works about thirty percent of the time for him when he meets someone in person, but rarely works in virtual meetings. Since most of his work is virtual, he wanted to know my secret.

Building Rapport – Virtually, Authentically

For this to become a natural talent, you need to find not only what works for you, but what appears natural for you. I can share with you my approach, but I can not guarantee it will work for you. Like I said, I collected all types of approaches but only after I tested all of them was I able to select what works (authentically) for me. Here’s my approach to the first meeting with a new person:

discover more »

30 powerful questions for coaching and reflecting

To be, or not to be: that is the question. ~William Shakespeare

Powerful questions can be used in coaching, self-reflection, leadership development, team collaboration, and even critical thinking. Often one question can be enough to ignite an illuminating conversation ending in the all powerful ‘ah ha’ moment of a client or team mate. Below is a collection of 30 questions I have used over the years in coaching, consulting, self-reflection, and in a collaborative team setting. If these inspire critical thinking on your part, then I can enjoy the knowledge that I can inspire from a distance. If these questions inspire more questions, please let me know by leaving a comment.

discover more »

A Valentine, a Jar, and 2 Beers

A dear friend of mine shared a story with me that made my day today! It made me think of all the relationships we have and how it is important to nurture and encourage those relationships to grow. Just like your garden (and your business!) your relationships need nourishment and attention. We’ve all heard that [...]

discover more »

« Previous Page